To She-who-must-not-be-named
To Big Boss,
We are sorry we could not carry out your criminalistic plan. My sidekick was unwilling. Also our original candidates were already missing. We would have informed headquarters, but my sidekick rushed me and I forgot to write down... er... memorise the number before it self-destructed so we couldn't send a message out. We are truly sorry for the chaos we have caused, and The Mastermind's time we have wasted. We hope that The Mastermind was able to make good use of the meantime by filling out the report.
Also, not to make excuses or anything, but our cover was almost blown when someone tapped our coded conversation and edited it in such a way as to incriminate us. We have reason to believe it was an inside job. We cannot recreate the original conversation because, once again (see, I told you he does this) my sidekick rushed me and it was not saved from self-destruction. We request that a copy be sent from headquarters. We understand that this is a difficult request, and expect it not to be granted. It is not critical, but I personally demonstrate it's importance by asking it anyway, and take full responsibility.
We may have to lay low for a while. In the meantime, we are awaiting further word from headquarters before moving on to Plan E. I advise though (and I suspect that my sidekick would be willing, but I won't let him take off the Cone of Silence) that we have another bash at Plan C. With a few moderations. I suggest we inform my sidekick that he doesn't know even what he has not been told. Or just give him orders not to guess. He is asking too many questions. He is thinking too much and causing complications. He is too smart and may have to be... er... taken out of the loop. At least until the Cone of Silence has been destroyed. As Plan C is the only one that may bring that about, I suggest we move quickly, even while we lay low. I have already begun to make enquiries about the supplies.
One of our connexions is not connected and we are hoping to make contact with him before he shows up and I put my foot in his mouth.
Yours evilly,
Agent #?
Disclaimer: None of these people exist. Neither do their plans. Just ignore this. (Yeah, that should do it).
We are sorry we could not carry out your criminalistic plan. My sidekick was unwilling. Also our original candidates were already missing. We would have informed headquarters, but my sidekick rushed me and I forgot to write down... er... memorise the number before it self-destructed so we couldn't send a message out. We are truly sorry for the chaos we have caused, and The Mastermind's time we have wasted. We hope that The Mastermind was able to make good use of the meantime by filling out the report.
Also, not to make excuses or anything, but our cover was almost blown when someone tapped our coded conversation and edited it in such a way as to incriminate us. We have reason to believe it was an inside job. We cannot recreate the original conversation because, once again (see, I told you he does this) my sidekick rushed me and it was not saved from self-destruction. We request that a copy be sent from headquarters. We understand that this is a difficult request, and expect it not to be granted. It is not critical, but I personally demonstrate it's importance by asking it anyway, and take full responsibility.
We may have to lay low for a while. In the meantime, we are awaiting further word from headquarters before moving on to Plan E. I advise though (and I suspect that my sidekick would be willing, but I won't let him take off the Cone of Silence) that we have another bash at Plan C. With a few moderations. I suggest we inform my sidekick that he doesn't know even what he has not been told. Or just give him orders not to guess. He is asking too many questions. He is thinking too much and causing complications. He is too smart and may have to be... er... taken out of the loop. At least until the Cone of Silence has been destroyed. As Plan C is the only one that may bring that about, I suggest we move quickly, even while we lay low. I have already begun to make enquiries about the supplies.
One of our connexions is not connected and we are hoping to make contact with him before he shows up and I put my foot in his mouth.
Yours evilly,
Agent #?
Disclaimer: None of these people exist. Neither do their plans. Just ignore this. (Yeah, that should do it).
posted by Mathieu | 4:19 pm
2 Comments:
Nice...I just won't ask questions about who these "plans" are for. You guys are sneaky
You're the supergenius mastermind, you noong!
Disclaimer: This conversation does not exist. Just stare at the little red light until you see the flash. That's it. Now, you are sitting at a computer reading a funny (but you don't know why) conversation which doesn't mean anything, and nobody said what they just did.
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