Diaeresis in Word Verification

Wow! When commenting here I had to use a diaeresis on the 'y'!

qÿmkdfh

To She-who-must-not-be-named

To Big Boss,

We are sorry we could not carry out your criminalistic plan. My sidekick was unwilling. Also our original candidates were already missing. We would have informed headquarters, but my sidekick rushed me and I forgot to write down... er... memorise the number before it self-destructed so we couldn't send a message out. We are truly sorry for the chaos we have caused, and The Mastermind's time we have wasted. We hope that The Mastermind was able to make good use of the meantime by filling out the report.

Also, not to make excuses or anything, but our cover was almost blown when someone tapped our coded conversation and edited it in such a way as to incriminate us. We have reason to believe it was an inside job. We cannot recreate the original conversation because, once again (see, I told you he does this) my sidekick rushed me and it was not saved from self-destruction. We request that a copy be sent from headquarters. We understand that this is a difficult request, and expect it not to be granted. It is not critical, but I personally demonstrate it's importance by asking it anyway, and take full responsibility.

We may have to lay low for a while. In the meantime, we are awaiting further word from headquarters before moving on to Plan E. I advise though (and I suspect that my sidekick would be willing, but I won't let him take off the Cone of Silence) that we have another bash at Plan C. With a few moderations. I suggest we inform my sidekick that he doesn't know even what he has not been told. Or just give him orders not to guess. He is asking too many questions. He is thinking too much and causing complications. He is too smart and may have to be... er... taken out of the loop. At least until the Cone of Silence has been destroyed. As Plan C is the only one that may bring that about, I suggest we move quickly, even while we lay low. I have already begun to make enquiries about the supplies.

One of our connexions is not connected and we are hoping to make contact with him before he shows up and I put my foot in his mouth.

Yours evilly,
Agent #?

Disclaimer: None of these people exist. Neither do their plans. Just ignore this. (Yeah, that should do it).

I Got to Hold Him!

I saw them outside the cafeteria.
I pretended that I wasn't pretending that I didn't see them long enough to get a drink from the fountain, but it didn't work (what's with all the QUT bubblers not working lately?).
I started walking towards them, and immediately it was confirmed that she had read my complaint on Luke's post for she reached straight into the pram and started unstrapping him.

Saying Clever Things

I was talking to Kris and Noof at Nightlife last night, and they were saying something, but I wasn't really listening. My mind was busy thinking about how to stuff up certain people's plans, but that's a different story. I thought I heard them say something about a green car, and Kris asked me what I thought. I had just noticed that her shirt was green and her eyes were green, and that she was talking to Noof, whose shirt was blue and eyes were blue. I said, "Your shirt's green."

On the way home, I found out that Pete didn't understand the double meaning in the pickup line: "If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"
Poor Pete. He was so innocent before living with me.

Tim M. and I saw a movie the other day. On the way, Tim asked me like the 1000000th question about my beard that day. I said, "Why don't you ask the beard?"
He was just about to, and then realised what he was doing. He explained though, that the sincerely serious thought that had stopped him, was "Hang on, does the beard speak English... or Hebrew?"

I promised I'd blog about it.

5th Month 5766

See HTML version.
See Karaite Korner Newsletter.

The Deterioration has Reversed.

Dear God,

Thankyou for forgiving me. Thankyou for healing my mind. Thankyou for living in my heart. Please let us never fight again. I only ever want to be on your side one hundred percent. Please protect me from throwing any future tempertantrums.

Mathieu

4th Month 5766

See HTML version.
See Karaite Korner Newsletter.

My Flatmate's Trying to Kill Me!

My flatmate's trying to kill me!

Strike one:

Flatmate starts cleaning the wall. Who cleans walls I ask you? It makes the rest of the house look so dirty. I was suspicious from the start.
Flatmate kicks over the bucket of water and makes me get off the couch and grab my violin and flute from under it to save them from getting wet. Clearly it was an attack of my life.
"Pete! You're trying to kill me!"

Strike two:

This time he didn't work alone.
Flatmate tells me to hurry up if I want a lift and turns off the light. His bike then 'fell' on top of me and then against the door, slamming it shut. For a minute or two I was wrestling with Pete's bike in the dark. Finally I got it off me but balancing it on my bike. As I started through the door it 'fell' against the door again. This time the door hit me in the head before trapping me again in the dark. I finally got downstairs where Pete claimed innocence to having heard my screams.

Strike three:

This time, I specifically told my flatmate not to kill me.
We were helping Wentworth and NiColes down the stairs. I went down first pushing Nicoles. I was close to the bottom when my flatmate started to go down with Wentworth. If Wentworth slipped, I wouldn't have been able to get away, because NiColes was in the way.
"Don't kill me Pete. I'm feeling very vulnerable here. My life is in your hands."
The next thing I know, Wentworth is rolling head over heels lengthways, bouncing down the stairs. Fortunately, my excellent Karate skills came in handy as my brain worked faster than Indiana Jones, running away from... Well whatever it was, it wasn't as bad as Wentworth. Sorry Wentworth, I hope you're ok.
My flatmate was laughing hysterically. He tried act as though he was laughing out of shock, but he just kept laughing until our neighbour came out and laughed with him.

Strike four:

Flatemate picks up knife, supposedly to eat food with. A blatant message.

Strike five:

Flatmate looks at me in that, "You know I'm going to kill you one day" kind of glance.

Strike six:

Flatmate looks at me again.

Strike seven:

Flatmate climbs old wooden ladder, supposedly to fix the light in my room, and tries to fall on me even though I was holding the ladder steady. It's sad to contemplate the determination he has that he would risk his own life to take mine.

Strike nine:

Flatmate drives tired while I'm in the passenger seat.

Strike ten:

Flatmate responds to my public apology for accusing him of trying to kill me, with:

"That's ok. I forgive you too.








DIE!!!!"

This was done while I was looking over his shoulder, but then he deleted the last part so that no one would know.


Save me!